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Taking the emphasis off of winning, which you cannot control, and putting it on things that you can control only makes sense in tennis or in any other endeavor. Today we have a multitude of players that feel like they are failures because they don’t win as often as they think they should. One of the reasons for this is that players don’t play enough matches as a part of their training regimen.

The other reason is that players have been taught by their parents, peers and coaches that winning is the big goal. While it is certainly nice to win more matches than you lose, we need to realize that tennis is a nearly perfect vehicle to teach players the many life lessons that are so important for all champions, both on and off the court, to learn. Here are a few of those core values:

Character: Through the responsibility each player has to call their own lines, to keep score accurately and to give their opponent the benefit of the doubt, tennis offers a great opportunity for players to build character. Good coaches can be very helpful if they can get players to believe that their self-worth as a person has nothing to do with how well they strike a little yellow ball.

Courage: Tennis gives players the opportunity to play through tough times. The one on one style of competition certainly requires that players have the guts to put it on the line. Few other sports require as much courage, especially from its youngest athletes, as tennis does in this arena.

Honesty: Tennis is one of the only sports where the players make calls on each other’s shots. Imagine little league or an adult softball league where the players called their own balls and strikes. Although this huge responsibility in the hands of the competitors, again, especially for the youngest players, has caused problems, no other sport allows for the development of honesty like tennis does.

Sportsmanship: Like in other sports, tennis players will play opponents that are jerks and try to cheat. Although in the short run this is uncomfortable for players, and also for the parents of young players, it does give players a way to develop and hone their ability to cope with this type of person both on and off the court. If you look at junior players, you will find that many of them are mature beyond their peers in this area simply because they have had more chances to practice this skill than non-tennis players. Parents should view these episodes as the opportunities they are and resist the urge to get involved and “save” the child.

Integrity: Because tennis allows for your opponent to make calls that directly affect you, there are always times when people get cheated, whether on purpose or through an honest mistake. How a player reacts in these situations offers them a chance to test and prove their integrity. Will the player get even? Or will they do the right thing despite their opponents actions. Players will learn to avoid situational ethics by refusing to cheat simply because “she did it to me.” Players that succeed in this area can have a profound sense of satisfaction even if they lose the match.

Tennis is an individual sport: In tennis, you are all alone on the court (or with a single partner in doubles). No one shares in the glory or the blame. There is no one to pass off to if you are playing poorly and you can not be taken out of the game to recuperate from your poor play.

No coaching is allowed: Tennis is one of the only sports where players are not allowed to receive any coaching. Except for a handful of exceptions like High School tennis or Davis Cup, nearly all tournaments do not allow for coaching. The no coaching restriction is unusual in sport and forces competitors to deal with the pressures and problems of play on their own.

Tennis provides nowhere to hide: Tennis players must remain in full view of spectators at all times, regardless of how they perform. They may desperately wish to hide from the world but can not due to the structure and rules of the game. Embarrassment, discouragement, anger, choking, euphoria, they’re all there for everyone to see. Some players love this aspect of the game, others don’t. Either way, tennis provides little shelter for the emotions that accompany such an exciting game.

No substitutes. No time outs: Many sports allow players to regain their composure through the use of substitutions and time outs. This is not the case in tennis. Players must stay in the game regardless of how bad or uncomfortable things might get. This is particularly difficult considering that matches can be two or three hours in length.

The accuracy of line calling: Completely objective, professionally trained linesmen make mistakes. These are professionals who are completely motionless and have only one line to look out for. Expecting players in a match to call lines with the same accuracy is, at best, unrealistic. Balls travelling at speeds in excess of 50 MPH with fractions of an inch separating in from out provide distinct opportunities for conflict. This becomes particularly important when you consider that a single bad call can dramatically change a match. How players deal with these “questionable” calls is often times what determines the outcome of the match.

The honor scoring system: Unlike most other sports, in tennis a player can take a point that is rightfully their opponent’s by deliberately calling a shot out that had fallen inside the lines. The point can be the most important of the match, and yet the call stands. There is nothing a player can do about it. Pressures of being cheated or being accused of cheating can place tremendous psychological strain on players, especially young ones.

Tennis requires touch and finesse: Tennis is primarily a fine motor skill sport, meaning that it is comprised of many precise movements requiring “feel.” As such, these movements can be influenced significantly by subtle changes in emotion. Anger, fear, frustration, embarrassment and other such emotions can be very disruptive to the delicate motor control needed in tennis skills such as serving and volleying.

Length of battle: Few sports require players, especially children, to concentrate and perform for as much as three hours at a time. It is not uncommon for a 12-year-old player to be required to compete in 2 singles and 2 doubles matches in the same day. Mental toughness and physical fitness become critical to a player’s success.

The unique scoring system: The scoring system in tennis adds to the pressures a player experiences. Unlike many other sports, there is no overall time limit. Play continues until one player wins the match. Consequently, there is no room for coasting on a lead or waiting for time to run out. Each player is just a few points away from a complete turnaround, and a lead is never safe. As a contrast, if a basketball team is ahead by 30 points, they will almost certainly win because their lead is too large to overcome within the time limit of the game. In tennis, a player can be up a set, 5-0 in the second, and 40-love on their own serve, lose 5 straight points, then the following service game. Suddenly, this player has reason to fear a loss and a huge comeback on their opponent’s part.

Big v. little, young v. old: Another dimension of tennis is the fact that a 9-year-old can successfully compete against a 14 or 15-year-old. A young girl of 14 may be capable of beating a seasoned veteran on the professional tour. Small can beat large and young can beat old. A 12-year-old boy losing to an 8-year-old, or a 6’3” tall boy losing to someone half his size can be extremely stressful.

Despite all these difficulties, tennis is still a great sport to play, especially for young children. It is the only sport that challenges players on the physical, strategic and psychological levels. It is no wonder that junior tennis players are often the best students in their classes. The goal setting and work ethic needed to be successful in tennis are life-skills that will help all players as they get older and enter society.

Even the difficulties experienced in playing tennis, like dealing with an abusive or cheating opponent, are opportunities to learn life skills that will be an important advantage in life. Few other sports offer as many of these types of learning experiences as tennis.

Parents and coaches often make the mistake of wanting to get involved or “fix” on court problems when they happen. The best thing to do is to recognize these episodes as opportunities to learn important life lessons. People who develop these skills at an early age are usually far more successful in life than those who do not. If a parent or coach must get involved, do so after the match and discuss what happened in a calm, rational manner. Use it as a “teachable moment.”